The Roaming Rosie Blog

I know it’s been over a month since I’ve posted a blog – but I swear I’m not ignoring it!  Our beautiful daughter was born March 16th, and has taken up quite a bit of our time lately.  :)  Also, I’ve just been informed that I have Mono.  Again.  So when I’m not feeding the baby or changing diapers or doing laundry or running errands, I’m trying to sleep – or I’m sitting on the couch half-comatose.

Anyway, I’ve got plenty of blog material – just no time to type it up.  I’ll catch up soon, since our daughter is now five weeks old and starting to sleep for slightly longer periods, but between being sick and recovering from labor, the internet is just not my highest priority right now.  I’m behind on a lot of things, but enjoying the whole motherhood thing, so – for probably the first time ever – I barely even notice that days at a time go by during which I don’t check my emails or even touch my computer.  Which is, strangely, kind of nice.

Well, she’s not late yet. I don’t know why, but I don’t think I ever assumed she’d be late, so with my due date fast approaching, it suddenly occurs to me that it’s still considered normal for her to arrive two weeks after that date.

And I have to keep reminding myself that my due date is a whole five days away. The 15th seems much closer than that. The main reason, though, that I keep expecting to suddenly go into labor is that my body has changed in the last week. I’ve now been having false labor, or Braxton Hicks contractions, for a week now, on and off, though mostly in the evenings. She suddenly feels much heavier, although she doesn’t appear to have dropped any more, I’ve been having cramps, which my doctor says is a sign the cervix is opening, and I lost the mucus plug. I kinda thought labor would be imminent after that last factor, but, obviously, it is not.

A week ago I was a centimeter dilated, which isn’t much the way I hear it. But tomorrow is another doctor’s appointment (I feel like I’m always at the doctor’s now – what with the pregnancy and sinus infection) so we’ll see what she says.

Now that I’m no longer sick, I’ve been trying to move around more. I have absolutely no desire to exercise, especially since my last clumsy attempt at Yoga, so even the Pilates I used to enjoy so much has no appeal right now. Exercise comes in the form of walking around the block after dinner, or going to Publix with my husband to grab a few things. But these things are about as much as I want to do because then she feels very heavy and my feet start to feel more swollen and I find I’d like to sit down again.

It’s nice to get some fresh air, though, but as I wait for the baby I feel a little edgier every day. I think it may be that I’m bored – and I already know what all the veteran moms out there are going to say, because it’s been said to me over and over – enjoy the peace and quiet while you can. I get that. But I’ve been so excited about this baby for so long now, that I just can’t wait to meet her, and I can’t seem to focus on anything at all because my mind’s always on her.

The last few days have been a little rough – the tissue supply around here has certainly been hit hard. Just as I’m starting to recover from a nagging sinus infection, and just as all that nasty sinus pressure starts to fade and the headaches lessen, that’s when I suddenly realize that I now have a cold as well.

I think the sinus infection is completely gone, as far as I can tell, but now my head is just full of snot that’s in a constant state of drainage. Not cool. Of all the things that had crossed my mind about how labor might progress, I have to admit that it never, ever occurred to me that I might be sick when delivering the baby and, consequently, when bringing home and caring for our newborn.

It makes me a little nervous because I don’t want to give her my cold, but it also makes me a little frustrated because I’d like to enjoy these last few days of pregnancy and I instead find myself curled up in bed or zoned out on the couch, unable to concentrate on anything and completely out of energy.

But I suppose these days wouldn’t be exactly “blissful” anyway, what with the swollen extremities and the back pain which contributes to me never being comfortable anymore. Plus, she’s feeling so tight and heavy now that every one of her twists and turns feels sharp and overly strong, which has become another unexpected discomfort, as I usually enjoy feeling her move. I actually suspect that the cold may be the only reason I’ve been sleeping at all the last few days.

I’ve had a few short bursts of energy here and there (nesting instinct?) but mostly I feel like I’m going through life in a daze right now and I just hope it clears up soon, because I know that now matter how I feel, she gonna come when she’s ready!

When I was making breakfast this morning and reaching in the fridge for my orange juice, I happened to notice the expiration date on the half & half:  03/15/2010.  March fifteenth?  But – that’s my due date!  Did I lose track of time?  Did I sleep away a couple dozen days?

No, nothing so drastic.  It’s just that the half & half is good for quite awhile.  Fifty-three more days to be exact (if left unopened).

But that split second was enough to scare me.  Am I ready for all this?  Is the baby really coming soon?  Why hasn’t the realtor had any new news about the house we’ve put a bid on?  Do short sales always take this long?  Will we be bringing this baby into the world while living out of one bedroom of my parent’s house?  Do I still have time to get all the stuff I really need to have for the baby – somewhere to sleep and a car seat and diapers and Lord-only-know-what-else-because-I-sure-as-hell-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing?

And this afternoon a package arrives bearing a baby gift.  It’s exciting and sweet and I’m flattered that an out-of-state friend would take the time to send something, though it somehow feels awkward to be accepting gifts for a little person who’s still mostly a mystery to me.  I’m thrilled about all the cute baby stuff, but there’s still a little voice way back in my brain asking, “Why are people giving us all these presents?”

I know the answer, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less surreal.

Everything seems to be moving so fast that I’m glad to announce that at least my weight gain has stabilized to a more traditional expectation.  Two weeks ago I had been feeling really heavy and huge and quite a few people had been commenting that I had suddenly “popped” and gotten much bigger, but I was still surprised to hear the OBGYN techs tell me that I had gained nine pounds in four weeks.  Nine pounds?  In four weeks?  No wonder I felt bloated and uncomfortable.  That’s quite a growth spurt.

But after another two weeks, the tech reported a weight-gain of only two pounds.  Two pounds I can handle – that’s a pound a week, which is what the doctors had told me to expect.  But that still leaves me with another seven weeks and potential seven more pounds to look forward to when I’m already growing out of some of my smaller maternity tops and walking into doorframes and countertops because I keep forgetting how much of me (and her) there now is.

It’s scary enough that we’re bringing a new little child into this world, but it’s even scarier that before she’s even arrived, everything else has already changed.